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I More Regularly Used the Word Ambition in Song as a Younger Man

from Intruders Laugh Wickedly by Matthew Milia

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lyrics

When
at the first of May
the dandelions wage an overnight
sweep
across the slick chest
of Detroit

you wonder which feats are
marked by instinct—
sexed-up and mindless—

and which germinate by
desperate ambition.

The dandelions make love to the city
with stalks thistly
and raw.

The dandelions are a sex
unto themselves.

They sprout and sweat and suck
at the sun with petals
of a billion ambitious
tongues—

nectared and heavy.

We wonder if ambition or mechanical instinct, both—
and the vegetative creatures of their production—
are as useless as the Sharpie insignia
on the back of your hand
granting admission to last night's rave.

In the sacred house
that is always for sale
you count the closet stash of
Beanie Babies
stuffed with cushy dollar signs
or perhaps
the dandelion stems
of '94.

You wonder why your mother's ex-boyfriend's
T-shirt is that which you find
most comfortable
to wear to bed.

You wonder why the motorized fan
will blow the teabag strings
out of the mug
into miraculous air-steams

like tampon cords
hovering
in underwater
slo-mo

but not your own tired body
into sweet
levitation.

When the spores of dandelion
fill the bulges
of my closed eyelids—

eyelids
that kiss each other
in awkward
contact

wake me with the news
that the petty struggles
of my lame ambition
were not for not

even if it's a goddamn lie

as pathetic as
the eventual man
signing into his father's dead account
to up his Instagram
likes.

credits

from Intruders Laugh Wickedly, released March 22, 2020

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Matthew Milia Detroit, Michigan

Matthew Milia is a critically acclaimed songwriter, best known as the lead singer and guitarist for Frontier Ruckus. Celebrated for his obsession for memory, domestic minutiae, suburban redundancy, and the fragility of family dynamics, Milia has written over 100 songs constructing an intricate personal mythology based in his lifelong home of Detroit, Michigan. ... more

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